What is this blog about?

There is no such thing as an expert on the topic of Life. We all have had our battles, our suffering, and our questions. Despite the uniqueness of our personal obstacles, we have endured them. We have endured them well enough to advise those behind us as to how to do the same. I have done the research on your behalf regarding the multitude of reasons why wisdom exists. My mission is to utilize the voices of the world's greatest thinkers and heroes to compose a guideline of life's wisdom so that you don't have to experience those trials alone.

If you have any questions, please tweet them to me @JoeSielski or email me at DelawareGLU@gmail.com

(Please title your email with the word "Wisdom" so I know it will be for this blog.)

I will do my best to try and answer every question as quickly and efficiently as possible. Thanks.

Saturday, December 15, 2018

A Day for Confidence

One of the things about being a writer that challenges everyone is how to open your work.  The beginning:  how to actually start your body of writing.  According to blogger, this would be my 280th post and you'd think by now it gets easier.  It doesn't.  It doesn't because each essay, each written piece has its own feel, its own topic, its own mission.  And therefore each essay requires its own personality.  This is an essay on Confidence, and yet, I still wrestled with how to start it.  I had considered making it sound like an infomercial:  "Are you insecure? Lacking confidence? Well, I got the right thing for you!"  I scrapped that, it felt trite.  I had considered sounding like a professional PowerPoint presentation: "It stems from people who feel down on themselves.  Insecure and unsure. I'm of course talking about How To Be Confident."  That felt artificial and forced.  And in all of this waffling and undecidedness, I remembered that no one is immune to insecurity and self-doubt.  Therefore I figured it's best to go with honesty and stick with a more candid approach to start this essay.  So here I am, a humble writer, full of my own insecurities, ready to inform the world of strategies to cope and develop resilience amidst self-doubt.  This is an essay on Confidence, I promise!

There.  The intro is done! 
 
When I tell people I'm a writer, naturally they ask what my novel is about.  When I inform then I'm an inspirational writer, they expect me to have a wireless microphone mounted to my lapel, and a crowd of 500 as I shout motivational maxims of "You can do it!"  "Chase your dreams!" "Never give up!"  But then they see I'm just a random guy without the microphone or the crowd, and the skepticism kicks in because they just wanted to hear a fun story about the novel I was writing.  They respond: "Oh, that's nice." And therefore, I'm here to say I feel that skepticism too.  And yet, I still write.

A few years ago when I did my TEDx talk, I remember seeing the lineup of other speakers scheduled to also speak that day.  As I looked at the dossier, some people had 17 doctorate degrees and 6 Nobel Prizes (very exaggerated).... point being, it made me feel really insecure.  Here I was, this lowly guy who just wanted to share my stance on Forgiveness.  I was super excited to have made it through the rings and get approved to speak, and then: the Impostor Syndrome.  "Who the hell am I to believe I'm good enough to do this?  The other speakers have 9 Academy Awards and 12 Olympic gold medals!"  (Obviously exaggerated. But that's how it feels when you feel down on yourself.)  "You don't deserve to be on the same deis as them!"  The inner critic was certainly not on my team that summer.  There was however, another voice much deeper within, a sturdy yet quiet voice that whispers: "If you tell them the truth, they can't dispute it."  That message resonated with me.  It had me pondering my own message.  I knew that what I had to offer was truth.  I felt grounded by the truth of that message.  From that moment, I was able to get on stage amidst my concerns and inner criticisms and do exactly that: tell the truth.

I may as well reveal that truth will be a running theme in this essay because confidence is essentially just a form of faith.  It's a faith in yourself.  Confidence is a full belief system, like that of a religion, where your own efficacy and worth are at the heart of your faith.  This is why some get it and others don't.  They just don't believe it.   I was able to find confidence in my own truth enough to get up and proudly share my definition of forgiveness.  

Confidence is weird.  It's unfamiliar to many of us.  It's a sense of assuredness.  It's a certainty.  It's a faith.  Confidence is literally the ability to confide in oneself, one's own talents, or one's own worth.  Confidence is self-trust, self-respect, and self appreciation.  Many people don't trust themselves.  Many people are unsure of themselves. Many people doubt their self-worth and therefore, their confidence takes a hit.  Confidence can be mistaken for courage at times.  Usually, they're seen together, but there is still a difference.   

A lot of times, we see others being confident, yet we doubt that we are capable of it ourselves.  Imagine you're researching retro fashions.  Where would you go looking for answers?  Maybe you find some photographs of scenes of people walking around the mall.   Maybe you have access to photos of people at events like weddings, birthdays, holidays, or at concerts.  In that moment, in that snapshot of daily life, we fully accept that what others were doing was intentional and true.  We become willing to accept that how others dressed in that moment is exactly a representation of how things were.   And even then, I guarantee in every photo, there's someone who is nervous how they look.  They wonder: "Is my hair ok?" "Will anyone notice I look different?" "I saw [insert celebrity] wearing this in my favorite tv show, so I guess this is fine." Maybe in that moment, they hurriedly ran out the door and that's just how they look.   And yet, if you were to take a snapshot of that moment, on that day, one would say "Yes, this is exactly how this day is supposed to be."  We accept that, in that very moment, things are just right, things are exactly as they are supposed to be.  Thus the snapshot becomes the evidence, evidence that we bestow an element of confidence on others that we might not have ourselves.

There is an artist friend I have whose art I wasn't a fan of initially.  At first glance, and through my hypercritical eyes, it appeared to me to be "too this" or "too that" to be art.  But it absolutely is art.  They're a great painter who shows and sells excellent paintings; of course they're an artist!  I was being judgmental and I needed to dismiss that.  Their persistence to continue creating as well as the amount of works produced makes my friend an amazing artist.  Experience develops confidence.  Looking back, I can see my former criticism as symbolic of how doubt can impede confidence.  In the perspective of my friend, there was devout faith in their talent and commitment to paint, ergo my friend is a painter.  

There was once a time that I never considered myself as a writer.   There was once a moment in my life when I decided to start putting some words on paper (or on the screen) and write a book.  I wasn't able to sleep most evenings until I got the information out of my head and typed in print elsewhere.  Technically, in that moment I became a writer.  But of course I doubted it.  Yet I disciplined myself and persisted in writing, essay after essay, post after post.  Eventually, I had to accept that I was doing it.  I was writing.  Now, I enjoy writing.  If I have to do a writing assignment for class, I have my strategy for writing all set.  While others may be reluctant to write a paper, I see an element of fun in it.  So yes, I am significantly more confident as a writer these days than I was years ago when this whole journey began.

"We are what we believe we are."   [Henry Ford]


People who do it, are it.   Painters paint.  Writers writer.  Runners run.  That's just how it is.   That's just how it goes.   You have to do it to be it.  But people still doubt themselves.  I remember Oprah once reported saying that in all the interviews she's ever done, and out of all the people she's ever interviewed, at the end of the interview, they all seem to ask/comment one thing.  "I hope that was enough." She says it didn't matter if they were a politician or a pastor, a famous musician or an unknown mom.  It didn't matter if the interview was an hour, if they poured out all their strengths and vulnerabilities; at the end of each interview, Oprah observed that about 4 out of every 5 interviewees still question "Did I give enough?" "Did I say enough?" "Was that ok?"

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."  [Eleanor Roosevelt]


If you're reading this, you are ok.   You are fine just the way you are.  Of course you're good enough.  Your personality is right.  Your efforts are enough.  Take a moment to trust yourself and your efforts; and see them as just right!  Confide in yourself.  That's all confidence is.  Celebrate yourself.  Show yourself some respect.  Appreciate yourself.  What you do is correct.  How you do it is right.  If you want to be this, good!  If you want to be that, that's good too!  Remember: people who do it, are it. So what you do is enough because you are enough.   You're doing a great job.  Here's the thing about confidence: When you accept yourself, others will agree.  But you have to start, you have to start and develop a habit of it.   Many times, confidence is gained through experience.  We step on the bridge and realize it can carry us, therefore we trust it.  And we learn confidence by doing stuff.  As a fledgling writer, I had no idea what I was doing.  I was terrified of the blank page, but these days, I have my full strategy of how to write and compose an essay... even if I write about the challenges of opening the essay.  Sometimes that sense of routine gives us a sense of confidence.   There was once a time I didn't consider myself a writer, and yet, here I am, writing for my own leisure.  Experience can be a key factor in the development of confidence.  You trust the process.  You trust that things work and behave exactly how they're supposed to.  That's how you can also foster confidence in yourself.

Imagine how much confidence you give to most chairs that they will hold you.  You trust that the chair is just going to do what it does.  You trust it will do its job.  Yet so many people are more willing to have faith in a random chair than they would in themselves. And I'm sure you paused a little to ponder that. So in regard to chairs, that faith is a belief that there is a structure and security to the chair that once it's time to use it, you know the chair can support you. Confidence in oneself is exactly the same. It is a belief that there's something about you that's sturdy and abundantly strong so that when it's time for you to access it, use it, and utilize it, you have faith it will support you.  That's confidence.   That's all it is.  And all I'm here to do is to remind you that there is absolutely an element within you capable of supporting you at all times.   There is something within you that is tenacious.  There is something about you that is resilient.  There is something inside you that is unshakeable.   That's all confidence is... it's a faith that you can handle fear and stress, and then it's also a faith that you are worth more than discomfort.  Confidence is a belief in your own stability.  When the doubt tries to come in, the truth is that tenacious spirit is still there underneath.  That's who you are.   Trust it.   

I can't write an essay on confidence and not describe that you can have confidence based on things outside of oneself.  Let's face it, in most times when we require confidence, we need to be reminded that we have it.  Because of external things, we can be persuaded our inner strength has limits, for that reason, the simple concept of encouragement has value.  For many people, that faith is actual theological faith.  Many people find their confidence in a higher power or deity; and if that works for you, go for it!  It can work and it does work. It represents a reality that what is outside can be found inside as well.  Many religious texts back that up.  As mentioned before, confidence stems from a belief or a faith in something one sees as true.  Therefore, belief in a deity gives people and communities a sense of stability in moments of distress.  But confidence only works if you believe it works, regardless of the source of one's strength.

Confidence implies that one's inner strength is unconditional.  No matter the influence, no matter the factor, you remain balanced and aligned.  Therefore, I must, I must, I must emphasize that whatever is unconditional must be truth.  It stands and it remains no matter what condition it encounters, good or bad.  In theory, true confidence is immune to both criticism and praise.   I know that many may want to defend compliments and their impact on self-worth, even I feel weird typing it.  Logically however, it would have to make sense that neither criticism nor compliments are required for true confidence to stand upright on its own.  Thus it bears repeating:  Inner strength is unconditional. 

Confidence dismisses the influence of others.  Confidence implies that external influence is moot, regardless of whether that influence is kind or critical.  Confidence doesn't do this spitefully, it simply trusts in its own volition.  The confident ones trust that their road is valid.  They trust their method of travel is correct.  Confident ones lose interest in what others do or suggest. You shouldn't need others to tell you who to be.  You shouldn't need to rely on others to tell you that you're worth it.  You are worth it.  Your worth is innate.  You are intelligent.  You are attractive. You are loved.  Have faith in that.  Have faith in yourself.  Believe in yourself.  Accept yourself.  Trust yourself. Appreciate yourself.  Show some self-respect.  Love yourself!  So here's the motivational stuff on confidence I'm sure you were expecting to see:  "Go for it!" "Reach for the stars!" "Don't quit!" "You are worthy of success!"  At the end of the day, there is something deep within you that is abundant, and therefore resilient and tenacious.  There is something within you that renders fear and hardships irrelevant.  Cherish that.  Nurture it.  Celebrate it.  Take faith in it.  When it really comes down to it, you are always more grounded than you think you are.  You just got to think you're worth it... which you are!  


"As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live."  [Goethe]



Thank you for your time.
Joe Sielski
December 15, 2018

Friday, October 12, 2018

Pondering Virtue:


The decision of happiness is not a decision of happiness itself, but rather the undoing of a belief in choices other than love.

This realignment begets forgiveness.

Forgiveness begets a reunion with peace.

When inner peace is released, gratitude becomes known.

When gratitude is acknowledged, happiness is its reaction.

Happiness is a natural state of feeling when one accepts love as a natural state of being.

Thus these 5 virtues continue to cycle harmoniously

Saturday, August 18, 2018

Truth is Here (a poem)



Truth is here.
Truth is now.
 
Truth is here to face you.
Truth is here to embrace you.
Truth is love.
Truth is peace.
Truth is freedom.
Embrace truth.
Face truth. 

Truth faces us.
Truth embraces us.
Embracing truth is easy when we like it.
Embracing truth is fearful when we don't.

If you can't face the truth, just paint over the truth with a new image.
Paint it as beautiful and elaborate as you can.
Be an imaginative artist.
Paint this image for as long as you need until it is just right.
Paint yourself happy.
Paint yourself at peace.
Paint yourself loved by the images you paint. 
Paint this image until you feel at peace again.
Yet truth is here, underneath. 


This image brings you an illusion of peace.
This image brings you an illusion of love.
This image brings you an illusion of freedom.
This image brings you an illusion of yourself.

Be a magician. 
Make the most beautiful illusions for yourself.
Make them detailed for others.
Get lost in the illusion.
Let it convince you it is now the truth.
Yet truth is here, underneath.

There is only one truth, yet numerous ways to try and conceal it.
Ignore that truth is here.
Ignore that truth is now.
Ignore that truth is love.
Ignore that truth is peace.
Ignore that truth is freedom.
Squander inner peace to convince yourself and others that truth is not here.
Sacrifice peace to maintain the illusion.
Anxiously paint again if the light of truth cracks the glass illusion.

And one day, you may be ready, you may not.
The truth will cleanse you of the illusions.
It knows how.
Trust it.
The truth is here when you're ready for it.
Honesty awaits.
Embrace it.   



August 18, 2018

Saturday, May 26, 2018

A Moment to Ponder Love

You cannot let go of Love.

You let go of everything else.

The reason letting go is so difficult is that "the everything else"
has convinced us that it is synonymous with Love.

You cannot let go of Love.

You let go of everything else.

Saturday, March 24, 2018

A Moment without Projection


Projecting something is usually a means of indirect self-preservation. Anger is the most common form of projection. Look around and notice how people project and inspect what it is they’re defending in themselves. Take a moment to inspect your anger and projection to identify what you’re defending. Use eyes of compassion today.



Sunday, March 11, 2018

A Light Shines (a poem)

A light shines

A light shines.
The lens receives it. 
The mirror reflects it.
The lens sees the reflection. 

A light shines.
The lens allows the mirror to receive it.
The mirror reflects what light the lens allows. 
The lens sees the image of what the mirror reflects.  

A lens sees.
The lens decides which light the mirror reflects.
Then the mirror interprets what the lens sees.
The lens can inspect.
The lens can critique.
The lens can enjoy. 
This is it's perspective.
This perspective is a reflection of what the lens decides. 

A lens sees.
The lens has a perspective.
It can decide to like what it sees.
It can decide to dislike what it sees.
The lens has this ability.
In each reflection, the lens sees itself.

A light shines.
An image is seen.
The lens likes this vision.
This is it's perspective.

A light shines.
An image is seen.
The lens dislikes this vision.
This is it's perspective. 

A light shines.
A lens sees. 
A perspective is formed.
Each perspective is an image each lens has allowed.
Each perspective is an image of how each lens sees itself.
Each perspective is determined by the condition of the lens.
Each perspective is chosen.

A light that forgets its purpose is to shine can become dulled by perspectives.

There will always be a lens and a mirror.
There will always be perspectives. 
You are the light.
Shine.






Thank you for your time.
Joe Sielski
(March 12, 2018)





Monday, January 29, 2018

A Moment to Ponder Forgiveness


A Moment of Contentment

Take a moment to ponder that:

When we say "I want" the Universe does not interpret it in the same manner.
To the Universe, there is no such thing as wanting.
To the Universe, when we say "I want," it hears "I have forgotten I already have access to it." 

Through the lens of the Universe, there is no such thing as lack.  Therefore, the concept of wanting is moot.  When we want, it implies that we are incomplete.  By wanting, we no longer are making requests to the Universe we think we're making, but rather, we are making an announcement of our forgetfulness. 

What has been forgotten?  Our innate abundance.   Our innate alignment with all things.  Being that this is a physical world, a temporary world, we see things as temporary as well... as though abundance is impossible.  But this is not how the Universe knows them to be.  And we have access to all of it.   What is it you have wanted?  What is it you have forgotten you already have access to?

Be grateful for that which you're tempted to want.  Though it has not yet made it into your vision, thus developing the illusion, it is on its way.  You are one step closer to every solution simply for being grateful for it.