A Day for Self-Assurance

I was reminded of this message earlier today and wanted to expand on it. 

 "Opinions of you are not a reflection of you, they are a reflection of those who said it."

When you really take this into consideration, this can be a really eye-opening epiphany for many people.  In brief, we are the sum of our milieu.   We are the byproduct of our milieu.  Your milieu is your history, it's your background, it's your environment, it's your upbringing.   All the things you know, you know because of what you've learned up until this moment.  Similarly, all the ways you react are also reflective of what you've experienced up until right now.  With this in mind, understand that this is true for everyone else as well.  

The point of this blog entry is that too many of us feel so slighted when someone expresses an opinion about us, or worse, too many of us are anxious to try new things based on the potential opinions that might ensue.   This is why it's important to remember that opinions are strictly reflective of whose mouth they came from. 

If someone has an opinion about you, remember that it is a representation of who they are and how they were brought up.  Quite literally, it has nothing to do with you. It has nothing to do with you, your character, or your sense of Self. 

I can like pizza whereas others could not, and that's perfectly fine.
I can like the color green, and my best friend could not, and that's perfectly fine.
I could like my hair, and my family could not, and that's still fine.  
I can like every piece of clothing I'm wearing, and a random stranger might not, and that's just as OK as the preceding examples.
You should never feel as if you are to live on behalf of the opinions of others.
The only approval that should ever matter is your own.

I repeat:  IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU, YOUR CHARACTER, OR YOUR SENSE OF SELF!!!  

If ever you encounter someone who gives you a disapproving face for whatever reason, don't get self-conscious over it.... thank them!   Thank them for showing you who they are as a fully realized individual.  

Once I had bright, red hair... I mean it was electric red.   Sometimes I encountered people who had a noticeable negative reaction to it.  Maybe they had never encountered someone with arbitrarily colored hair before, or maybe it's because they haven't been around enough people of that sort.  Either way, their experiences thus far led them to the point that their reactions reflected that and my Rothko red hair was foreign to them.   And to that, you say:  "Thank you for showing me who you are in this stage of your life"

So if ever you're going through your day, have a moment to pause to remember that everyone is a series of reactions to what they've experienced thus far in life.  The gauntlet of opinions will be much easier to forge.  And most of all, it's liberating.

Thank you for your time.